Little Johnny.

The teacher at the beginning of the class says:

"OK kids, we are going to talk about sexual education

today. First we'll talk about how the human reproduction goes on..."

Immediately, little Johnny raises his hand, and

desperately tries to get the teacher's attention. 

But the teacher, knowing how little Johnny is about

these things, goes on...

"... First, a man a woman have to be in love... " But

little Johny keeps his hand up, waving it up and down, and from one side to the other one.

The teacher ignores him.."..They have to be very much in love because..."

But now little Johnny even starts making noise with his feet, so the

teacher decides to acknowledge him:

" OK, little Johnny. What do you want to say."

Little Johnny then stands up, and says:

"I just wanted to ask. 

Those of us who have already fucked,can we leave?"

..............................

One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed

in her cleavage.

She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How

about you, Johnny ?"

"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.

"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink

water," explained the teacher.

"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was

that long!"

.............................

Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in

arithmetics.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

"But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?"

"What's the fucking difference?"

"That's exactly what I said."

.............................

Liitle Johnny and his li'l sister are peeping through

a keyhole at their parents making love

"Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to

stick a finger in our nose!"

..............................

Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs

screwing each other.

"Dad, what're the dogs doing?" asks Johnny.

"Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above has

concentrated."

"Okay, I've understood."

"What've you understood!?" asks the father sarcastically.

"Never relax in your life, dad, or you'll get fucked like a dog!"

................................

Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they

asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house.

Before going to bed Johnny says to her 

"Oh, please,I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed."

She agrees, they go to bed.

In the morning she wakes up to find a big

hairy-chested man in her bed.

She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!" 

"Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling

the tickets outside?"

..................................

Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says,

"Mom, what those things on your chest?"

Unsure how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad

at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked

his father the same question.

His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why

Johnny,those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up

and she'll float to heaven."

Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a

few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically,

"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!" His father says, "Calm

down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

Johnny replies, "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's

balloons and she's screaming 'Oh God, I'm coming!" 

  A teacher asks her class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says, "Alligator."

"Very good, that's a big word."

The second little girl says, "Predator."

Yes, that's another big word. Well done."

Then little Johnny puts up his hand and says, "Vibrator."

After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, "That is a big 

word too, but I don't think we can count it because it doesn't eat 

anything."

"Well my mom has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow."