One liners.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to
> check the prices of
> new car.
>
> What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't
> turn into men when
> they drink.
>
>  My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron
> clothes.
>
>  What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great
> lawyer?
> A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the
> judge.
>
> Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full
> minute and then
> expects your pulse to be normal.
>
>  At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv
> lst my hand,
> oh! Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has
> lost his head. Is
> he crying?
>
> A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some
> pepper.
> Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette
> pepper!
>
>  Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then
> suddenly Santa fell down
> in a deep hole.
> Banta: Are you ok?
> Santa: Fine thanks!
> Banta: Did you break anything?
> Santa: No, there's nothing down here to break!
>
> Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your
> feet on the mat as
> you came in?
> New employee: Yes, sir.
> Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
>
>  Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the
> refrigerator just in case
> someone wants their coffee black.
>
> Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he
> finally writes a
> love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
>
> Q: Why dogs don't marry?
> A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
>
>  A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table.
> The wife asked.
> 'Anything new at work?' He replied, 'No, I'm teaching
> History.'
>
>  Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
> A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the
> other ensures you
> continue to do so.
>
>  Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside
> and closes it.
> He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told
> him to check
> sugar level regularly.
>
>  Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road.
> Change it to
> exclamatory sentence.
> Student: WOW!
>
>  Santa in an antique shop, "Do you have anything new ?

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